Saturday, October 27


This new life of mine is just filled with changes. I've always been big on continuity, stability. Change scares me. I get really anxious when I have to go to a new place or try something new, even when I know it will be good. But lately, I've come to embrace the changes that are taking place. Looking back at all the changes I've been through, I realize that everything that has happened to me has happened for a reason, to get me to this amazing place where I am now. For once in my life, I wouldn't trade places with anyone.

So, it's been a month since I've posted and so much has happened I hardly know where to begin.
I'm now back at work and that has gone so much better than I thought. I really enjoy what I do. I love the people that I work with. Being back at work makes me feel human again. I have a reason to get dressed in the morning, I am more than a pair of breasts. And Jaime is just AMAZING as a stay-at-home dad. Of course, he's almost too amazing. Ever since Junior got home, I've felt that Jaime was just a bit more in tune with the him. That has become even more apparent now. Jaime always knows what Junior needs, can always make him laugh or "talk." It's hard not to feel like my being gone everyday means missing out on the bonding. I've gone from the one Junior needed every 2 hours to feeling like they don't need me at all. I'm trying to frame the situation, and remember that it is good that Junior is home with someone who loves him and who is so good with him.


My mom is back to doing chemo. Can't remember what the last update I gave on her was, but they found a tumor in each lung that were recurrences of her leiomyosarcoma. They were able to remove both and now she's doing one week a month of chemo in the hospital. She has had a few issues with this round, but overall she's still doing really well. Of course, she is just completely in love with Junior. I try to make sure that they get plenty of time together, even though she isn't able to babysit anymore.


Life means change, especially with a sweet boy growing so much everyday. Guess I better get used to it.


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